It's difficult to know what to say about a movie that opens with Gary Busey prodding a drowned cow until baby piranha come out of it's rear end. Particularly when Busey bites the head off one of the little critters before sinking to his doom.
Clearly, Piranha DD is not a film that takes itself remotely seriously.
Maddy (Panabaker) is at war with her stepfather Chet (Koechner). Together they own a water park, and Chet has fired all the lifeguards, replaced them with "exotic dancers" and invented the world's first aquatic strip club.
But, unbeknownst to the money-grabbing Chet, the piranha have respawned and, according to Christopher Lloyd's mad scientist, are figuring out how to navigate the pipe network, guided by the smell of chlorine.
Characters are therefore eaten up regularly and in increasingly inventive ways, even if the piranha do swim around in a blur of cheap CGI.
This leads Maddy to run around town trying to figure out what's happening to her friends and colleagues, along with her admirer - the shy and sensitive Josh (Bilodeau) - and the amorous local sheriff Kyle (Zylka). And despite Maddy's insistence that doom is imminent, in true Jaws 2-style, nobody will listen as the bodies pile up.
Ultimately, as the plot is builds up to the theme park carnage - and it really is carnage - somehow, David Hasselhoff becomes Piranha DD's ace in the hole.
Portraying himself as an ageing Mitch 'Baywatch' Buchanan, the Hoff has the only real character arc as he comes to realise who truly could be a hero in real life.
It's utterly ridiculous stuff that channels directly into the spirit of Roger Corman's original. It lacks the intentional B-movie sheen of the last Piranha outing, and most certainly looks like a straight-to-DVD sequel.
Slo-mo booby shots (the breast-meets-beachball collision is the most gratuitous cinematic moment of all time) and the kind of obtrusive 3D that made Jaws 3 so rubbish are by-the-by. This is a movie that wears its breasts on its sleeve. Until they get eaten in your face.