A vignette-filled movie is a rarity in Hollywood these days, and thanks to Movie 43, we have a pretty good idea why.
Movie 43 is a bunch of stories, each featuring some big Hollywood names and directed by the likes of Bobby Farrelly and Brett Ratner, strung together by a plot involving two stoner teenagers and their attempts to wind up a little brother.
They tell the little nerd that a movie exists that'd blow his mind, distracting him for long enough to grab his laptop and fill it with porn viruses. So, as he searches the web for the elusive, apparently non-existent Movie 43, he comes across a variety of short stories. Stories that we, the audience, are subsequently subjected to.
The opening story features Kate Winslet on a date with the good-looking, super popular, man-of-the-year Hugh Jackman. But it goes awry when she discovers he has testicles dangling from his chin. After ten minutes of awkward moments, the scene ends. There's no punch line.
We briefly see the kids back on the computer, before being forced to watch another short story, about a kid who's home-schooled by his weirdo parents. Then there's a bit involving a guy whose girlfriend wants him to 'poop' on her, followed by a very odd, uncomfortable supermarket-set scene between Emma Stone and Macualey Culkin's brother.
The superhero sequence is reminiscent of a GCSE level drama scene, and then the penny drops - all those movies that allow the leads to riff, to go off on uncontrollable, unscripted slanging match scenes are responsible for this.
The ad-libbers among the cast (most notably Jason Sudeikis), think their rat-a-tat insults are a thing to behold. They're not.
As we trawl through this selection of dross, it becomes more and more obvious that there isn't an ounce of wit anywhere in the scripts. No set ups, no pay offs. Just a bunch of skits that wouldn't make the cut in an episode of Saturday Night Live. And notably, most of the cast wouldn't either.
It's movie making for the ADD, YouTube generation. But anyone with a keyboard and ninety minutes to spare could piece together a better montage than this using unwatched videos from the web.
In the US, the movie is strung together by a completely different plot line, one that is cut from the UK version entirely. One has to wonder, what could possibly be so unfunny as to warrant not making the cut of this atrocious effort?
It's so bad that it's astonishing that it even got made. Those involved must KNOW how bad it is, as though this is some sort of test to see if audiences will still cough up a tender to sit through it. It's an insult to every paying cinema-goer in the land.
Simply put, Movie 43 isn't really a movie. It's just a colossal waste of time. Even writing this review has dedicated too much effort to the film's cause. The best advice we can give you is, stop reading this, go find something else to watch and pretend Movie 43 never happened. You can bet the cast are already doing just that.